exipolar.net

First of all, finally got around to upgrading to wordpress 2.5; this is pretty f-ing sweet if you ask me.  Love the new look and feel, haven’t explored all of the functionality yet.

Anyways

A long time ago, there was this show on the Sci-fi Channel called Lexx, and every time it would come on, my father would change the channel.  He apparently thought it was stupid or something,  But from the 5 to 10 minute snippets that I could catch while he was somewhere else, I found the show to be very interesting.  In the end though, I never got a full view of how amazing the show really was.

Lexx, revolves around four very different people as the crew of the Lexx, the most destructive ship in the universe as it can destroy whole planets in a single shot.  The consists of Stanely Tweedle (nothing more than a hapless failure), Xev/Zev Bellringer (A Love slave/Cluster lizard without the mind control of a love slave) Kai (Undead assassin formerly employed and enslaved by His Divine Shadow, he the last of his people) and 790 (a robot head with Xev’s love slave programming for which makes him madly in love with her despite being only a robot head).  I regard the show itself as a kind of post modern fantasy space opera dark comedy more than simply sci fi.  I was more of a parody of space opera sci-fi.  But, even though it acted like a parody, it wasn’t always funny.  Though it never really told any jokes, but it was funny.  It was never very serious but there was real heartbreaks.  It was cynical like a lot of things in the 90’s but you could still connect with the crew.  There turns out to be so much subtlety to this show.

I remember when it was on Sci-fi. it was on the hour after farscape; I also remember how people would constantly compare the two even though, aside from featuring a rag tag crew on a living ship, neither of them were alike at all.  I don’t think a lot of people knew how to take it.  It could be whatever it wanted to be when it wanted to be, and viewers tend to expect things being a particular kind of way.

Though, the episode we watched today stunned me.  I’m not quite sure how to explain it.  Most of the time when I watch TV these days, I don’t feel anything for anybody.  A guy dies and all I’m thinking about is the plot, I don’t even realize the shock of injury or even death.  This episode introduced two characters only enough to for us to realize that they are human and that we are allowed to relate to them in the way we might the main characters, and precisely when that occured, both of them are instantly removed from the plot.  The feeling was equivalent to just feeling comfortable in a strangers house and having the seat pulled out from under you as you go to sit down.

I really wish there were more shows like this on today.

It’s really good to be an adult to be able to look back on the things that one’s parents disdained for one to enjoy (or disdain) with mature critisism for one’s own self as opposed to having it being made for them.  It helps me realize how I’ve developed away from my parents views.  I see them as rather open minded people, but I can see how the sensibilities of their generation and enviornment of limited them from being able to enjoy the subtleties they themselves taught me to seek out.  I guess this is just another symptom of a slice of social evolution.

I spent a good portion of my economic stimulus check on a new midi controller! It’s not like it has knobs and buttons all over the place like others but it’s enough for my purposes.  Mainly I have been composing a lot for piano-ish/keyboard type music, I realized that doing this sort of thing strictly through sequencing isn’t going to do unless I actually had a keyboard on hand to know how one plays it.  I’ve actually learned a lot more than I wanted to.  This isn’t a bad thing of course.  What I was hoping for was to give my compositions more life by adding some improvisational flair to the rhythm pattern,  Instead though I got a handle of the proper “posture” that one plays piano that made even the original renditions sound more like piano music.  To be specific, the way I had originally wrote felt very awkward as I attempted to play it.  I decided to spread my hands our a bit which of course spread out the harmonic range of the phrases.  I noticed that the result sounded more natural as well, it sounded more like a piano piece.

The Classic Rock Trio dubbed “The Psychotics” for which I am the bassist of is going to be playing at a local bar the 30th, I see it as my internship on the whole rock ‘n roll band.  Experience to be used for when I actually use my own projects.  I’m fairly excited, it’ll be my first show.  we’re trying to get fliers posted around town and all.  If the gig is successful I’ll look into making a myspace and all for us.

I started what Leo from Zenhabits called a tralog.  Basically it’s a blog to keep track of personal progress on things; it’s very dry and simply full of stats but it’s good to reflect on.  You can read (& comment on) it here.  I’m going to update it twice a day at least, once in the morning to show what I have planned, and once before I go to bed to show what I have done outside of plans.  I hope that eventually I’ll be 100x more productive and I’ll be able to get things done easily.

In first grade I was diagnosed ADD and emotionally challenged.  I should scan the paperwork for a post header.  I really didn’t know about it until my early adult hood.  The fact is though, it takes some real living in order to understand what it means to be “emotionally challenged”.

I kinda disdain the term actually; it seems insulting to my faculty as a human being; it implies that I was made “wrong” from the beginning.  I’m not sure if it’s a developmental problem or just a learning disability, but the fact is I do have trouble relating to others.  I’m often insulting, crass, tactless, and just generally uncouth; the only way I even know this is from analyzing the reactions of others around me.  I aspire to be a musician, but it’s been a hard road having to make the heart I have to use to be my muse for my art; at least I don’t have to settle for the one I was born with.

But without being so pretentious, I do experience emotions, I just don’t experience them in the way we seem to be acustomed to them being presented.  I like to think of the way I experience passion, and hate, and all of that as the way we individually see colors, and it just so happens my frequency assignments are very different from others.  My only worry so to speak is that I question if a person who experiences emotions so different from others can succeed in what I have a passion for. Well, Beck certainly made it.

Saturday night I got a melody stuck in my head that I probably heard in a video game somewhere, but is now encorporated into the most epic song I’ve ever endeavored to write.  If the last few days didn’t suck as much as they did I would have gotten more done with it (jack server kept crashing) but it’s been behaving today and I think I have enough focus tonight to work on it again.

Espescially after watching AWESOME poetry tonight.  We weren’t prepared for paying for anything so I sacrificed laundry money for a copy of poems by a Roger Bonair-Agard who dazzled me with his words tonight.

Well the last few days haven’t been all bad.  Other than said Poetry, I got my copy of Queen live at Wembley which rocked. I’ve even developed a Queen obsession not too unlike my Jem obsession only real difference, is that courtney already has a ton of Queen CD’s for me to raid and rip to my computer (suck it RIAA).  I really want to do a cover of Stone Cold Crazy.

Other than all of that, I finally ghetto customized my guitar.  I spray painted my pick gaurd.  I want a real custom pick gaurd though, but I don’t have the money for that yet I don’t think.

Damn this post is juvenille.  Here’s a pic of the guitar